My sophomore year of high school my mom kicked me out of the house for the second or third time, and this time I moved in with a boyfriend of mine and his family.
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#AsanasForGrowth Day 1: Clarity- Seated Pose —
It was Christmas break, and I was finished with all of my high school credits, waiting to figure out what I was supposed to do with my life next. At the time I was 16, working full time at a sub shop.
I had no clarity, no direction, no purpose other than doing what that boyfriend told me to do. Did I want to go to college at the time? Maybe.
Did I want to hang out with friends? Yes.
Did I want to see my family? Yes.
Was I allowed to do any of those things?
No.
Could I have left and done them anyways? I didn’t think I could survive.
I was being controlled by someone else at that point in my life, and I wasn’t doing anything about it. I was afraid.
I was listening to a 19 year old manchild tell me what to do, every second of my life, telling me what opinions I was allowed to have and what words I was allowed to say. Who I was allowed to hang out with, what family events I was allowed to go to, and getting beat or raped if I didn’t comply.
One day, we went to Walmart to get him something he needed, as he’s yelling at me through the store, my eyes suddenly caught this bright pink yoga mat with a bird and jasmine leaves on it. The bird was just flying up, in the middle of the mat, through the leaves, seemingly to freedom.
I asked him if I could buy the mat. Even though it was my money.
After a few minutes of begging, he finally said yes.
For the first time in my life, I stretched on that mat every day for two months. I didn’t know I was doing yoga. I didn’t know the magic and clarity I was manifesting in my soul. I thought I was just doing stretches from my old cheerleading days, but something began to awake inside of me each day. I began to speak out more to him. To stand up for myself. To fight with him.
I had a shift of clarity.
A shift of consciousness that led me to where I am today.
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